Neuro this neuro that neuro WHAT!!!!!!

Everyone is telling me I am tough, I am strong, why don't I feel it? Why do I feel like a weak willed little girl hiding behind her mothers coat from the world?
The truth is: It may NOT be okay. I want to scream it from the roof for all to hear. it my not be okay. Left frontal lobe tumors do NOT always turn out okay. As a matter of fact left frontal lobe tumors are rare b/c so few survive to tell the tale. I may wind up disabled and drooling. I would trade our wedding day ten times over for this stupid thing to be on the RIGHT side of my brain. At least then though I would have forgotten EVERYTHING I would have the physical ability to make new memories.

10-03-2009
Everyone has advice, sometimes it is good and sometimes it is not so good. But they always think they are helping and they always need to get it out. You as the patient may not need it or even listen but they will. They will listen to you; you should listen to them.

5 years with no treatment, 10 years with chemo and radiation, 10-15 years with surgery, or 1 month should the surgery go wrong. Come on you are all thinking it.. Now let me tell you something"Be mad, Be serious, now lets kick this bitches ass" Danny and Mary Manasse.

We don't need empathy or sympathy we need support we just need support to help us stay positive b/c this is HARD!!! We can do it, we CAN get through this but we need support. This is the hardest thing we have ever done and alot of us do not make it out alive, some of us do and we have to live with time bombs in us for the rest of our lives.

I cannot tell you how to do this, you must figure this out on your own because like every tumor and every cancer and every patient we are all different. People turn to faith, laughter, fun, writing, reading or they just give up and they die sooner. Problem is: we are all going to die some of us just know what is more than likely going to take us out. I personally have started pilates and personal training and eating right . I have changed my life and since it is so new I cannot feel a difference. I will report later.

BTW: the neuro oncologist saw us yesterday. she prescribed welbutrin sr and an FMRI to find out where my motor cortex is so they can decide on surgery.

Also life gets busier when you have cancer.