following the advice

My aunt told me to write a book so this is going to be fact and fiction interspersed but most of all it will simply be venting and I don't care who reads it.

So the last time I went to church it was the first time since 2003 and it felt like I had come home. Well, this time I went there and the sermon was actually ABOUT coming home. After the sermon I showed the reverend the quote from "Living with "Terminal" Cancer" written by Dr. Ben Williams, " (Richard Herrnstein) While dying of cancer, "He said that he saw no more reason to mourn the inevitable end of existence than to mourn the fact that none of us existed prior to birth" Reverend Aaron agrees with me that the qoute is incredible profound. While Mike went to go get the car I sat on a bench outside and in true "Andrea fashion" I stopped an elderly couple and asked them how old they are. Now for me to actually get away with asking people their ages I have to tell them about the cancer after that they are generally pretty pliable. I mean really who I going to tell? Anyway after I find out their ages and tell them why I am asking I follow up with "do you ever regret your birthdays?" Across the board the answer has been No but I think they are telling me this because they feel sorry for me which is totally not what I want. I believe that such a young person having such a nasty disease may possibly change their lives even for a day.

We went to Cafe De France (AWESOME!!!!!!!!!) and at the end of the meal we wound up inviting an elderly lady and her son to sit with us so they wouldn"t have to stand. (Okay this was my idea and M ike had no time to protest) Anyway they sat down and we proceeded to engage in small talk once Mike and Eric were well into their conversation I looked at Caroline and simply wondered......then I asked. She said she was 76 and I asked her does she ever regret her birthdays and she said "Heavens NO girl, why do you ask" I shifted in my seat before I took a breath and told her beacause I knew this would alter the current course of conversation. You know, brain cancer is just NOT one of those thing you can downplay. We left after that and I felt uplifted not because I had embarrassed Michael (sorry honey) but simply because Carolines answer was so genuine.

I have taken to not letting the little things go by or get to me. My aunt is all up in my business b/c her son has survived this (totally different though b/c his was on the RIGHT side) Anyway he has survived this and I am quickly learning that he cannot be a therapist b/c he will tell his mom and she will tell....anybody that will listen. I guess she and are alike in that way. So she got in my busines and I got REALLY steamed until Mike looked at me and said tone serious, "Really? You're going to let this piss you off? Really? Bigger picture Andrea. This small, minute, tiny, worry about the big things." That snapped me out of it and I realized yet again exactly how lucky I truly am to have such a WONDERFUL SUPPORTIVE CARING (I could go on but you would get tired of it) husband.

I am trying to force everyone in my life to live their lives NOW. STOP, "Regretting yesterday, worrying about tomorrow, and missing today" (Paul Fielding)

Watching Eastwick,Rebecca Romjin SUX!! Mike is at the Opera with Veena.
Interwoven with thoughts of cancer, I am gradually (for the moment) coming out of the "Holy Shit I might Die" fog. I am excited to go see The Blind Side and New Moon. I am beginning to really not like shows like Criminal Minds, Law and order SVU. But I do like Eastwick, Desperate Housewives, and for sure Glee. Having Chicken Ravioli for dinner.