Epiphany

You know if you think about it cancer is kind of like the "iron man" contest of wills/spirits/personal existence. The survivors are like the ones that can lift trees and cars and crap but not by brute force.
learning how to separate your spiritual self/energy from your physical existence is going to come in handy REALLY SOON. When the slash/torture/poison part of this begins I don't actually have to be there. Not looking for dramatics but when things are really painful it would be very helpful just to scoot over a little bit and I protect my being. When the pain is over come back simple as that. The Buddhist monks can actually do this. Major props guys.
Very helpful for alot of experiences to bring one from high strung unit of 25 (on a 1-10 scale)down to a 2 in daily life like when boss screaming or car accident or really anything uncomfortable allows one to be able to respond logically instead of complete panic. I will survive there is no other option.


BTW I figured out why this happened in sequence.
1) I have never been the shut up and listen kind of girl and that is critical to life skills
2) I have always always FREAKED (I mean hit the damn roof) over MINOR things. People who know me can attest to this. With me it is ALWAYS something, right guys?
3) I have never really had the do it now kind of attitude(seize the day) (there are things that I have wanted to do for a while and haven't done it
4) Mike and I started dating and it has been one trial after another, I mean I really put action in his life, it just follows me bc I freak about everything.
5)I graduated and got a job with the Depart of Aged and Disabled (I might wind up disabled)
6) I made myself seize b/c of my high strung attitude.
7) We live right next door to what we think is a Buddhist temple.

I am going to carpe diem and go over there and have someone start teaching me meditation. I have started writing which is something I have always wanted to do but have never taken the actual time for.

Time to start preparing for battle and smell them roses peeps. As the title says This bitch is OURS!!!


15 minutes later:
Well that didn't go so well, I opened the door and the alarm went off and a very nice but forceful said, "Intruder Intruder Intruder You have violated a space that is portected by xxx security systems please leave NOW."
Is that a sign?