fears

I am afraid of the inevitable. People are going to stop praying for me. People are going to stop caring if they haven't already.
I just passed the golden "everyone rallies around me" phase
the letters have stopped coming
I just hope against hope that people don't forget about me and what I am going through. Its like when you die there is a mourning period but eventually everyone moves on.
Its not that I want to disrupt your life but I need people to pray for me bc I feel it. I don't need phony friends. People that say "i will pray for you" and never give it another thought.
I don't want Mike to leave me because I am sick. I know he would not do that anyway.

I just want to remind you with this blog no matter how shitty your life is, it could always be worse, mine could be worse. Yours could be worse.

To everyone out there thank whatever being you believe in that you have it so well. Be it love, family, strength, use of your limbs, use of your mind, remember it could always be much much worse.

Thank you God for letting me only have grade 3 cancer and not some thing worse. now you think of the worst thing that is happening to you right now and thank that higher being for it not being worse so much worse.

Like being trapped in my own body a prisoner forever, being mute, not being able to communicate.