Dr. James Samuel Garner Jr. was laid to rest yesterday. I was honored, not to mention stunned when my aunt Mardi (now the matriarchof the family) asked me if I would ride in the Limo to the funeral, I humbly accepted. The funeral was beautiful and Charlies' words were eloquent and touching. It was everything that Grandaddy would have wanted. Charlie made us cry then he made us laugh. Then my cousin stood up and said a prayer, we sang a few hymns and the ceremony closed. However when following Beth behind the casket I saw her wipe a tear away and the emotions swelled. It wasn't a huge loss of my emotions but I cried, (I actually lost it a little) for the first time that day but not the last.
We followed the casket to the cemetery where Grandaddy was laid to rest beside his one true love and soulmate Grandmamma (Sweet Alice). Garner read the marine poem "Crossing the Bar" which as he said was absolutely perfect. The ceremony was concluded with the folding of the American flag. Grandaddy would have been amused at the fact the marine doing the folding had to stop twice, go back a couple folds, tighten, and refold. The marine then presented Johns' wife, Bobanne with the flag. After the service I was the first to walk up to marines and thank them, it came out as a whisper because I just knew if I tried to speak any louder my voice would crack.
My aunt Mardi walked up to me with the flag and did something so unexpected it floored me. She said they had discussed it and decided I should have the flag. I was so touched, honored, humbled and shocked that I almost lost it right there in the middle of the cemetery.
After a visit with the family everyone started to leave. Needless to say it had been a HARD couple of days. I got in the booger mobile (my booger colored rental) and drove to the cemetery. I had to do this for my own sanity. When I got there it was cleaned up and Grandaddy was in the ground. I sat down and let it all out. I try not to cry in public, so I felt safe there at his grave. I told him how much I love him and how I know he will be watching over me....and so on and so forth. I know he was there because I felt him and I actually heard him say "That's enough" I know it sounds CRAZY but that is what happened. He would say "Stop crying, that's enough" As it type I am getting a lump in my throat.
I cried on the plane so much that my face and eyes burned from the stings of tears. It was a pretty empty flight and I chose a seat in the front by the window, (as private as one can get in a flying tube), I read the eulogy again and cried. Then I read "Something Hit the Cotton" and laughed. But by the time we landed and Mike picked me up I was ready to really let it ALL out. So in the car prior to leaving I shoved the emotional block aside and unabashedly bawled into my husband shirt. After that I felt better. We went to dinner with friends and I brought out "Something Hit the Cotton". Natalie laughed hard at the Calhoun Falls train ride, Paul guffawed at the fact they took a COW through the house and lead her OFF the roof, Adam was intrigued by the fact that I have just as hard a head as my Grandaddy. Which I have to say my hard head had saved my neck more than a few times.
I woke up after a dream about him. There were no details, just a familiar place. The house that Sam built. Only it was brand new and Grandmamma was there, Grandaddy was young, and they were happy. I reckon that I saw a glimpse of heaven and that gives me comfort because now I know I am going to be fine. Grandaddy is happy again.
I have been fervently praying for years for him to pass with no pain. I just neglected to pray for the living to not have pain.
A poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye touched me
We followed the casket to the cemetery where Grandaddy was laid to rest beside his one true love and soulmate Grandmamma (Sweet Alice). Garner read the marine poem "Crossing the Bar" which as he said was absolutely perfect. The ceremony was concluded with the folding of the American flag. Grandaddy would have been amused at the fact the marine doing the folding had to stop twice, go back a couple folds, tighten, and refold. The marine then presented Johns' wife, Bobanne with the flag. After the service I was the first to walk up to marines and thank them, it came out as a whisper because I just knew if I tried to speak any louder my voice would crack.
My aunt Mardi walked up to me with the flag and did something so unexpected it floored me. She said they had discussed it and decided I should have the flag. I was so touched, honored, humbled and shocked that I almost lost it right there in the middle of the cemetery.
After a visit with the family everyone started to leave. Needless to say it had been a HARD couple of days. I got in the booger mobile (my booger colored rental) and drove to the cemetery. I had to do this for my own sanity. When I got there it was cleaned up and Grandaddy was in the ground. I sat down and let it all out. I try not to cry in public, so I felt safe there at his grave. I told him how much I love him and how I know he will be watching over me....and so on and so forth. I know he was there because I felt him and I actually heard him say "That's enough" I know it sounds CRAZY but that is what happened. He would say "Stop crying, that's enough" As it type I am getting a lump in my throat.
I cried on the plane so much that my face and eyes burned from the stings of tears. It was a pretty empty flight and I chose a seat in the front by the window, (as private as one can get in a flying tube), I read the eulogy again and cried. Then I read "Something Hit the Cotton" and laughed. But by the time we landed and Mike picked me up I was ready to really let it ALL out. So in the car prior to leaving I shoved the emotional block aside and unabashedly bawled into my husband shirt. After that I felt better. We went to dinner with friends and I brought out "Something Hit the Cotton". Natalie laughed hard at the Calhoun Falls train ride, Paul guffawed at the fact they took a COW through the house and lead her OFF the roof, Adam was intrigued by the fact that I have just as hard a head as my Grandaddy. Which I have to say my hard head had saved my neck more than a few times.
I woke up after a dream about him. There were no details, just a familiar place. The house that Sam built. Only it was brand new and Grandmamma was there, Grandaddy was young, and they were happy. I reckon that I saw a glimpse of heaven and that gives me comfort because now I know I am going to be fine. Grandaddy is happy again.
I have been fervently praying for years for him to pass with no pain. I just neglected to pray for the living to not have pain.
A poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye touched me
“Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there — I do not die. ”
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