With all that is going on in the world a single person feels helpless to do anything to change the way of the world. Because I am one of these truly helpless, hopeless feeling people I am pouring all my feelings out in this blog. So here goes:
Case 1: Natural disasters
So it seems the apocalypse is upon us, that or mother nature is just really pissed. Or maybe and most probably it is the FACT that we have sucked the ozone out and there is little to no protection from the extreme rays of the sun. Not to mention wasting all of our resources on petty things not thinking about the lives of our grandchildren. We give such little thought to why we are bringing even more people into an already overpopulated planet then we leave them no means to survive. We are, to put it lightly beating the snot out of mother earth the way some careless person would drive a horse to run to its death.
Case 2: The way we treat each other
This subject really burns my toast. We have assasinated EVERYONE that has ever told us to get along and treat each other fairly. Case and point Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, JFK, Ghandi, Jesus, John Lennon, yitzhak rabin (if you don't know that one wikipedia him), Anwar Sadat. I recommend wikipedia the last 2, their stories are they were warriors who came to know the value of peace. Most of you are probably thinking Shouldn't Jesus Christ be first, well no, not because he was the first to preach fairness but because Jesus stood for equality of HUMAN KIND. The others preached just the same yet we kill them like they are evil.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Case 3: The SORRY state of healthcare
I can say this because I have brain cancer. If I did not have health insurance I would be DEAD. End of story. So why am I so much better than the destitute people who cannot afford operations and healthcare. I AM NO BETTER than them. Neither are you. I know that is harsh to hear but how can you put a price on a life? The insurance companies think "out of sight, out of mind" well to them I say may you be blessed with perfect health for the rest of your life. Pray that your children don't get sick with a pre-existing condition and you don't have to deny them care. If they were in the families of these people that cannot afford healthcare don't you think they'd change their tune? If I could give my health insurance to some child that will make a difference I would in a heartbeat. I am not going to make any difference to anyone. But a child can and will. But without health care they are going to die, and nobody gives a damn. Because if it doesn't affect you directly and you don't have to see it or hear about it you just don't care.
I used to believe that people are inherently good and kind, now I still believe that but only for newborns. Then we learn about the world and become the jaded folks that we are.
Case 4: Our government
Don't the people in washington EVER get tired of just bickering? When Obama says ANYTHING the other side has to dispute it. It happens every time. Obama has had some GREAT ideas and the other side has said no. But when they get in control they will bring it back up, claim the idea as their own and get it passed. This is not about politics, because we see this every cycle.
I will get of my soapbox now before someone comes and kicks me off.
So, in other news: we decided to join our church this morning. Which brings me to another point (oh crap here she goes again...) I know we are all imperfect, But where does one get off going to church and then going straight back to oh I don't know I will pick something extreme... Going to church then going from church and the next day Robbing a bank? HUH??? Why go at all?
But I guess forgiveness is key we have to forgive others and ourselves. I learned that from Cowboy (Benton Nelson) God rest him. I find it is hardest to forgive myself for the pain I have caused others. 27 years of extreme living in sin I wonder if that can be forgiven, I know it can but I also know I don't deserve it in any way. I am trying to rectify it by being overly generous and nice now but I know that doesn't make up for it. I can never do anything to make up for the life I have led and the pain I have caused. Everyone tells me I am too hard on myself, I think I am not hard enough.
My next MRI is next Monday I always expect the worst and secretly hope for the best so I will not be disappointed. But if any of them are gonna show growth it will be this one, I just know it.
On a happier note: The horses are keeping me very chill and happily calm. When I am upset I go to the horses. They can sense it and will do anything to make you feel better. Case and Point: I went to the barn and when I arrived I got upset. Upon walking into the barn (going to dearaz bc she is the one I go to when I need cheering up) Odie stuck his head out as far as he could just to get my attention. As if to say "what's wrong? You are usually so happy here, can I help?" Needless to say this small gesture made me feel worlds better and my anger melted away like snow on a warm day.
Okay now I have hit my word quota for today. Feel free to leave comments.
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