trauma

James my cousin is dead.  He was 22.  He sent me a msg 11 days ago.  Thye found him dead this am.  he was my favorite cousin.   he deleted me from his fb and myspace friends.  I don't know why. 

The age old question of brain vs breast. Not in that way boys

Radiation was a bisnatch today. My hair all just up and left my head yesterday.  I mean it was like a mass exodus of hair.

Soapbox:
One day a YEAR 1 DAY A YEAR goes to brain tumor awareness.
Breast Cancer gets a whole month. this sux.
Brain cancer is what all cancer patients die of. It slowly metastisizes to the BRAIN. That is what kills all cancer patients, mine just started in the brain.  So I am ahead of the game.

I want you to think about something today and ask others "CANCER"
what comes to mind?
for me 1.death 2.breast 3.I have it in the brain and still I'm thinking clearly and I am mad.

Is anyone reading this?
ICDI.  "I CAN DO IT"

aejordan23@gmail.com

oops it fell out

As with many cancer ridden people I am now going through "the hair loss stage"  If someone has been through this before "my entire mohawk just fell out and then I "pulled" the rest out what is funny is it didn't give any resistance to being pulled out. BAM in my hand
Don't worry Ms.Spratlin, I gave it all to the birds for their nests. Sprat cat would be proud of me. RIP (cervical turned overian cancer)

We've come this far...

Well, I am PROUD OF MYSELF!!!! In my family  my mothers side is riddled with cancer and they are taking it 5 steps farther.  They are getting in touch with My grandmammas relatives.

I AM PART OF THE CURE!!!!!!

what have you done today?  I am not accusing, just asking what have you done today?  what do you stand for?

Now that that is done,  A very wise woman once told me "You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it!"" I say that to myself every morning.

The radiation is a bisnatch it hurts it makes me tired and I have 20 days left.  The nauseation is bad too but I am rockin through it I got my blood drawn today to check the dilantin lvl.  since fink has me tapering off it I am on 100 mgs a day
I need to call her and ask what I am supposed to do with the keppra bumping it up to 1500 instead of 1000
a day.

what else? well I caused us to miss a party this weekend and every day feels like a month. i am watching Americas Next Top MOdel (I promised myself I would not get addicted)  DAMN IT !!!!!!

Bravo rox when it comes to reality shows.

ANyway I will keep telling myself "YCDI" and keep counting down the days and I will keep you informed.

Oh How I wish I could do retail therapy

I miss work.....Hi connie pruitt, chip larry katherine debra

20 hrs of sleep will rejuvinate you with tylenol extra strength

So I am feeling way way way better. If I had had tylenol xtra strentgth it woulnot have gotten so bad.  but Indy ate the pill bottle cap. 
Just watched himym and now watching greys anatomy,  vamp diaries. and all the other recorded shows in the past week. 
Good god I feel better!!!! Just 2 tylenol xtra strength just cleared it up.   we should have gone to cvs or wal mart but nooooo we had to dr nedzi tell us to restock.  BC I couldnot remember to get it or tell anyone that I needed it.  It works without making me drowsy.

radiation drs and sleeping

ok so the title is all i did yeaterday. I slept 9-5 am-am 20 hours. 
I woke up with intense pain and nausea (so nauseous I couldn't drink my ensure.)  Then went to rADIation head exploded with pain when i bent down just getting my head below my heart and it shot to a 7 on the pain scale.  I could be a 2 on the pain scale and if I bent down bam7 ouchy yawsa.   dr fink was good I don't remember anything except Paul asked a question and th dr wanted to put an IV in me I refused and told her I was Nauseous Not vomiting I was holding down water.  lets see how today goes....

give in

giving up sounds pretty damn good right now. I destroyed my relationship with my sister and she is a flake and a guilter, i have 2 problems her and cancer.  I don't want to call anyone and the one person I did call didn't pick up his phone...Hows that for a giant kick in the gnads, when you're down already.

I can't find wicked cd for the broadway musical I have been to entertainmart, movie trading co., target (did not pick up the phone), called walmart, half price books and best buy all of them are out of this particular cd.

It seems like the end of the world nothing is going right and on top of that the radiology peopl don't give 2 shits as to whether I live or die I bet they wouldn't even miss me if I stopped going.  I mean thay are just there to get a paycheck, pumping peopl full of radiation torture is simply a perk.

Oh yeah and I have to go to karen fink tomorrow.  Oh Joy!!! I pissed her off and she told me not to call about every little thing well fine I won't call...ever.

I am sad and helpless because I cannot drive and I have a big hateful bug in my head that is fighting with me for this body.