Unfortunately, I have alot of experience with this. Most of them to Cancer. The one thing that you need to remember is the person is out of pain and will never feel it again. It is heartbreaking, but every cloud has a silver lining even if you can't see it because you are blinded by grief. But rest assured it is there. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and if it is too much for us to bear he will put people we can lean on in those times to help us through the loss. These can be in the form of friends, family, or even a stranger that says a kind word. I remember I had people all around the country praying for me. A church in Arkansas (I don't know even 1 person that has EVER lived there) sent me a quilt. It was one of the bad days and the quilt really helped me.
There are some things you should never say to person that is in the throes of grief. The worst thing I have ever heard is when a woman suffered the loss of her baby to S.I.D.S some person said to her , "At least you hadn't gotten attached and you can replace her." UGH How awful and uncaring and how bout NO TACT. Just know that nothing you can say will ease their hurt. Above all THINK before you speak!!! Grief is a natural process and it IS a process. The stages are (not necessarily in this order) Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Death is taboo because it forces us to understand that we ourselves are mortal. Different cultures have different rituals to honor the dead. Learn about the culture before you try to say anything. Find out what religion they are as well. Even the most well meaning person can get snapped at if they say something at the wrong time. If you don't know what to say Don't say anything at all. Just be there for them, sometimes that is the most helpful thing you can do. Just sit with them in silence. In general people are confused and scared to face the reality that the same fate awaits each and every one of us. Everyone's' grief experience is different.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Lori Brasington. A tragic victim of cervical cancer. Please pray for her family and friends to get through this horrible time of loss and pain.
This is a good song to listen to during the grieving process
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdGnQm43yHg
There are some things you should never say to person that is in the throes of grief. The worst thing I have ever heard is when a woman suffered the loss of her baby to S.I.D.S some person said to her , "At least you hadn't gotten attached and you can replace her." UGH How awful and uncaring and how bout NO TACT. Just know that nothing you can say will ease their hurt. Above all THINK before you speak!!! Grief is a natural process and it IS a process. The stages are (not necessarily in this order) Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Death is taboo because it forces us to understand that we ourselves are mortal. Different cultures have different rituals to honor the dead. Learn about the culture before you try to say anything. Find out what religion they are as well. Even the most well meaning person can get snapped at if they say something at the wrong time. If you don't know what to say Don't say anything at all. Just be there for them, sometimes that is the most helpful thing you can do. Just sit with them in silence. In general people are confused and scared to face the reality that the same fate awaits each and every one of us. Everyone's' grief experience is different.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Lori Brasington. A tragic victim of cervical cancer. Please pray for her family and friends to get through this horrible time of loss and pain.
This is a good song to listen to during the grieving process
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdGnQm43yHg
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